Everyday on this website people, including myself, post about suffering from depression or feeling suicidal. Many people scroll straight past, whilst others set up a whole page dedicated to the subject but everyone suffers differently.
Recently, things have been going OK for me. I am in the middle of buying a house, i have been seeing a new guy who is adorable and so kind, and in general, life seems to be going really well.
But then, whether it be after eating amazing food, in the middle of a party, laughing with friends it hits me. I want to die.
All of a sudden, nothing else matters. It comes from no where like a bolt of lightening. A feeling of helplessness, hopelessness and fear.
That is the thing about depression - real, hard long term depression. It doesn’t matter how well things are going, depression will stay with you and rear its ugly head at any time. Whether you were given the best or worst news of your life, your reaction would be the same - in my case - no reaction at all.
Being sad is horrendous.
Being depressed terminal.
Why can’t I be killed in an accident? I’m too much of a wimp to commit.
actually feel like hanging myself having just got home from holiday clothes shopping. Why did no one tell me my body was looking so disgusting?
Im scared of that place between life and no way out
I don’t know what it is, I just feel like dying. All the time.
That nervous feeling you get when you are so depressed you are not sure what’s going to happen next?
the tears welling up in your already sore eyes?
the knot in your stomach?
yeh i got that.